Guess I'll continue this tomorrow

I started doing an outline for my research paper, honest!

Just too dog-gone tired right now to continue it. Instead, I'll try to make a plan for tomorrow:

First things first, gotta study that biology for the exam on Monday (!).
Next, that darn paper, and hope that my interviewee responded to my email for the religion paper.

So, biology=around 5 hours.
Writing paper=around 6 hours. 5+6=11 hours. 11-2=9 hours, have to factor in eating and whatnot.
Right now it's 11:21pm. Gonna have to wake up at around 7:30 to still get my 8 hour sleep. 7:30am + 9 hours= 4:30 pm.

And I still have 4 hours to spare, during which time I will do biology. So, schedule:

• 7:50am-1pm: biology
• 1pm-1:30: lunch
• 1:45pm-2:30pm: outline
• 2:35pm-7:45pm: rough draft for research paper.

And there you have it, my Saturday all planned out in 3 minutes (it's 11:24pm right now).

G'night all,
the sc
Ps. Yes, I did manage to recover all my files. I just simply installed Vista on a separate partition and was able to access my XP files (of course, this idea having come to me after 100$ have been spent at the Geek Squad), now my entire laptop will be Vista until at least Christmas break. At which point I will do my best to build us a home server, linux based, that will automatically backup all computers on the network...might have to use Windows Media Home Server software, but we'll see. :)

Finding sources again

Bah, who would have thought that finding my old sources all over again would be so difficult? Lemme see...I'll try to write down what I remember of them in this post. Now I understand why all my teachers told us to make notecards while reading our sources, and not type them up.

• Source number one: a testimony by a Hungarian sounding senator on how the health care system in the US is faring.
• Source number two: a website by (whom I assumed to be) a scholar about the French healthcare system.
• Source number three: an online book about healthcare systems outside of the US. One of the Basics series.
• Source number four: a website about something...can't remember what
• Source number five: just took it out of the library, am in the process of reading and taking notes on it. The politics of health in Europe by Richard Freeman. Very interesting read for anyone doing a research paper. Unbiased and full of facts.
• Source number six: I still need to find one, if anyone has any tips it would be great if you could share by commenting (comments won't open in a new window, they are javascript so if you click it'll just unroll below my posts).

Alright, on to the search! Oh wait, I made an annotated bibliography for class, I can get some info from there! *smiles*

the sc

Bad luck weekend...

Just a quickie post:

How my weekend turned the badway:

1. My dad and I were insulating the side of the house, I was left to put up the Tyvek covering alone at night when he had to leave. It was 16F and dark.
2. I have two papers, a religion and a research paper, due next week friday. My laptop broke with all notes, sources and papers on it.
3. Was up till 2am trying to fix said laptop. Failed, people tell my my files are corrupted.
   
4. I took my laptop in to Best Buy's Geek Squad. They refused to fix it (under warranty) and forced me (charged me, but I had to because of point two above) to pay $100 for a 9gb backup.
5. I came home to realize I forgot to mention which folder is the first priority to backup. Called back, they wouldn't pick up at first (they did once I called again).
6. Brother said he could have backed up data by removing the hardrive and attaching it to his computer. Would that have even worked? Him having a PC and me a laptop...
7. Someone posted two hours after I went to bed to say this problem (laptop not starting up) happened a lot to them and they knew how to fix it and were willing to help over MSN. I noticed the post 10 minutes ago.
   
8. It's 10:15pm right now and I'm exhausted.

G'night all!

It’s that time of day again

So it's almost midnight and I'm trying to write a rough draft for my research paper on national healthcare for tomorrow. I assume everyone already knows that me being up this late generally means that I am:

• having a writers block
  
• having a writers anxiety attack
  
• procrastinating
  
• or (I must admit) fall into bad habits
  

That said, I will try using this time right now to brainstorm some ideas for tomorrow's rough draft...so here I go...all thanks to the suggestions of a poster on CF and this Purdue resource.

How will I organize this paper? Let me see.... (need to keep in mind that this is supposed to be 6-8 pages long by December 5th or so)

1. Introduction to the debate on healthcare
   
   1. Outline my "argument" (remember, this is an interpretative argumentative research paper, I need to show info and then interpret it and argue for/against national healthcare in the US)
      
      1. First the US side of things
         
      2. Then French side of things
         
      3. An analysis of both
         
      4. And then the argument
         
   2. Introduce my research question and thesis statement: "It is the proposal of this paper that, with certain key modifications, the adaptation of a similar program to that of the National Health Insurance (NHI) provided by the French government might prove to be a successful resolution." (from annotated biblio)
      
2. US
   
   1. Do some gallup polls
      
      1. Bring up American's dissatisfactions and satisfactions with the healthcare system
         
         1. Can later tie this in to the argument for a combined system
            
            1. Longer lines
               
            2. Better technology
               
            3. Satisfied with own coverage, but not with Americans' coverage
               
   2. Bring in info from that senator's health testimony
      
      1. Bring up healthcare costs
         
   3. From the health care book
      
      1. Make sure to cite it as a paper, not a book. It's a collection of essays
         
   4. Social Security
      
      1. Give some details of how it works
         
3. France
   
   1. Bring in info from that basics book
      
      1. Outline how the French system works.
         
         1. It is both government and private controlled.
            
         2. Many, many benefits
            
   2. Introduce costs of French system (from France paper)
      
      1. How it is still lower than the costs of the US system
         
      2. How it is more widespread
         
      3. How it satisfies more people (gallup poll time)
         
   3. Had a huge reform in 2005, extended eligibility to all residents, covers 100% of people in France.
      
      1. Get some more details on this
         
         1. Does this mean if I go there as a tourist who just "happened" to have a knee problem I can go to the hospital for free and get operated on?
            
      2. Anti-competition rules when it comes to Funds.
         
   4. Is there a French equivalent of Social Security?
      
      1. If not, bring up how they calculate how much each person is going to pay towards NHI
         
4. Analysis of US and French systems
   
   1. Won't really have to do, they've been outlined in the points above.
      
5. Argument
   
   1. Because of the high healthcare costs in the US, the low satisfaction rate, the high concerns with it, and (don't emphasize this point, just casually bring it up) that the US is the only industrialized nation without some type of universal healthcare/insurance, we need to switch to a French type of system.
      
   2. French system better.
      
      1. Higher satisfactions
         
         1. Bring up a horror story from the US system
            
         2. Bring up a good story from the French system
            
         3. French are overall happier than US
            
   3. Lower costs
      
   4. Better morals
      
      1. ???
   Hmm…I think that's it for brainstorming right now. Maybe I'll continue later on (in a week or so), right now I need to write a page or two for my rough draft.

the sc
Ps. I wrote this in Word 2007, please forgive the formatting issue...I still need to figure out what default font and size is in this blog.

About that quiz...

Oral pig quiz went fine, the proff went through it lickety-split. I think I got an A, if not a perfect score then one point below the perfect score.

The most exciting part of that day though...I went running, and kept running for 15 minutes straight around a neighborhood block. Almost gave up towards the last 2 minutes, but I made it through from the stoplight to all the way down towards a middle school, and then turning back up on a different street to come back to the stoplight before the one I started on. My method was a 5 minute warmup (walking and slowly accelerating) then the 15 (woot!!) minute run and then a 5 minute cool down.

For some reason, however, today I've been starving all day. To convey my puzzlement, here's a list of what I ate so far (its 7pm right now):

1. Breakfast: Homemade "McMuffin" made of: 'fried' eggs, whole wheat english muffin, American cheese and Canadian bacon.
2. Snack: Starving here, 2 hours after breakfast. Started starving during bio class. For snack I ate a slice of pumpkin cake and yoghurt with cereal.
3. Lunch: Hungarian "cabbage noodles", the thin plate-like kind noodles. Kind of like stepped-on spaghetti with cabbage bits in between (yum!)
4. Snack: Apple before I left for my next class at 1:30.
5. Dinner: Baked potatoe with sloppy joe and baked beans and cheese.
6. Snack: Don't know yet, probably cereal.

Bah, the miracles of the human body...you never know what it demands. :P

the sc

All that studying paid off

Got an A on my Structure and Function exam, in fact it was 2 percentage points higher than my best exam in that class so far! I'm so psyched! :D

Speaking of psyched...I'm not so psyched about this oral pig quiz today, but at least we'll get back our lab reports. Will let you know what's going on with that in a couple.

Well, that was my quick update, if you're curious what I'm doing right now:
http://www.watchshowsonline.tv/Scrubs/Season-2/Episode-19---My-Kingdom/Videos.htm

Scrubs. ;)

the sc

Using a VPN

I'm using a VPN right now to access my Uni's library catalog and research databases. Fun stuff! :D

the sc

No classes today!

No classes today, hurray!

In other news, I handed in a religion paper and a lab report yesterday, been on campus from 7:45am to 7:30pm in order to do so. Okay, maybe not to only do that, but still. 12 hours is a long time. :P

So what am I going to do today? Well, I want to bike on the city's bike path, but it's 32F outside. And I have some studying to do, it's the sacrifice I made for my paper: I got off schedule in my studying and now I have to make up 12 pages of bio so all I have to do tomorrow and Thursday is review for the exam Friday. Sweet, sweet sacrifice. Speaking of sacrifice, I better get going. It takes me on average one hour to truly study and know one page of bio, so considering it's 9:20am right now, if I start at this second I should be done by 10pm.

Wish me luck!

(For those wondering what Obama is planning so far, click here to read his plan to transfer Guantanamo Bay suspects to the US. Which I fully support.)

G-d bless,
the sc

Amazing day today + brainstorming

It's 70 degrees, sunny with literally not a cloud in the sky. Wish I could enjoy this, instead I'm stuck in the library writing an experience report for my religion class. Not that, that isn't fun (I prefer writing on experiences over writing a research paper, it comes easier) but I don't know what to really write about. Hmm...

Over the past few weeks my assignment was to "love your neighbor and love your G-d". Fair enough. The only problem is that I don't know how to do said assignment. I've been struggling with the question of love eversince I realized what being a Christian meant. How do you, exactly, love a G-d? Loving a person is fine, but a G-d? Maybe I could discuss this in the first half of my paper...I could discuss my efforts at knowing G-d this past week, and maybe briefly bring up my history with G-d over the past year or so. I've been meditating, trying to sort out everything that happened so far.

Ok, to be honest, I've been studying more than focusing on the research project. I mean, I have 2 exams and a quiz next Friday (Structure and Function, Modeling Algebra, and Religion), a project presentation Monday along with a progress report about a College Writing project our group is doing (which is why I'm in the library, waiting till 5pm when our group is supposed to meet). S&F has been taking up most of my time though, our last exam was 2 weeks ago in that class. I've written two papers in two weeks and done a ton of math homework. Did you know that they named every little groove in the body? I've taken a midterm in S&F lab on all the bones and muscles in the body and their functions. From small things that you can't see unless the lights are just right to big holes. But that's it for the ranting. Back to the research paper.

I'll try to break it down into more of a list type organization, hopefully that will get these neurons firing (if you want to know how they do that, I can tell you in depth...just leave a comment if you're serious, I've been studying neurons for at least 3 weeks). Boy I wish I kept a journal. :P

Loving G-d over the past 3 weeks. I figured if we love G-d first, the love will show to those around us, based on John 4:8.

1. Meditating by the riverside (again), for just a little bit though. Around 15 minutes.
2. Praying every morning in the share, it's a daily confession I've been doing every day for the past year or so.
3. Paying attention at church, singing songs with a full heart.
4. To be continued....

Loving People over the past 3 weeks. Hardest point for me, I am more shy by nature than anything.

1. Can talk about what happened this Monday. I was all committed to try something new in loving somebody, but when I saw someone struggling with their car my shyness stepped in and told me to not do anything. I went back to see if they need help though, but the guy was gone by the time I got there.
2. Can talk about my failure to do simple things, like opening doors for others
3. Can talk about my success in trying to love my family more. Trying to spend more time with my brothers and mother, helping out in homework, trying to get to know what's going on in each of their lives.
4. Being more understanding of others, etc. but that is more my nature than a part of the project.

Conclusion, sort of.

1. Try to work towards this: I haven't been that able to love others and G-d as much as I wanted to, but the class discussions on (especially) the historicity of Jesus helped a lot. It seems as if I've been too preoccupied with the thought that G-d might not be real, and then all of this would be going to waste. But even if He's not real, it's not going to waste. People out there really need love, and we need to give it to them.
2. Halfway realizing what Brother Rogers (of Taize, France)
3. My increased resolve to go to Taize

Remember, stuff that the professor doesn't want to see in the paper.

1. Chatiness, it's a sure sign that you didn't do the project. So while I want to talk about Taize and about my past, I can only mention them. Half the paper cannot be about what Taize is, or how I want to go there. It must stick to the topic of loving G-d and others and how you attempted to do that during the past few weeks.

Stuff to reference, either links or verses or class notes. Especially for analization of the experience from a Jewish perspective.

1. http://www.taize.fr/en_article7353.html
2. John 4:8
3. The notes on the historical Jesus

Alright, I think that's about it for now. I'm going to go eat something in about 5-10 minutes and then come back to find a table to sit at while I wait for the rest of the group.

I do apologize for the rather depressing mood of this post. And no, I still couldn't figure out how to post a video I made of that porcupine in our trash can, hopefully my brother's USB will work somehow.

May G-d bless,
the sc

The ultimate futurist post

I've been reading Time magazine tonight and found these gems on their 50 best inventions list:

1. Bionic Contacts: Finally, the future is on the doorstep. Mark my words, this is the first step towards seeing the map while you're driving...hands free! It'll app Of course, there will probably be "bionic ads" and such, stuff that cannot be seen by the naked eye, but only with these bionic contacts.
2. Thin Film Solar: Been hearing this for a while, it's a solar panel that is manufactured (by Nanosolar) on an assembly line, it's as flexible as plastic and is 100x thinner than what we think of when we say "solar panel". 100 times thinner. Think on that for a moment.
3. Biomechanical Energy Harvester: Basically long for "walking energy". This 3lb device lets you charge your electricals by walking...pretty cool, although the design could use some work.
4. Airborne Windpower: According to this article, if we harvest 1% of the high altitude winds we can power the entire world. Now that would be the ultimate coolness. The entire world, powered. 
5. Smog Eating Wall: Innercity pollution solved. 'nuff said.
6. Camera for the Blind: It's self explanatory. The camera that allows the blind to take pictures, by raising the image of whatever the lens sees on a Braille-like screen. My cousin would appreciate this.

Pretty darn cool stuff I say. For the other 44 inventions that Time listed, you may click here for the slideshow or here for a quick list.

Gender Stereotypes

I posted this on CFT (Christian Forums Teen section) in response to a post on gender stereotypes, I will expand on this as time allows, but I just wanted to post what I got so far here:

Question: What gender stereotypes do you fit/not fit?

Masculine:

1. I enjoy working out. Granted I haven't worked out since around May, but I'm starting up again during (or hopefully before) winter break.
2. I'm a mess. My room is the typical messy guys room: backpack somewhere on the floor, stuffed animals (from way back) under the window scattered around, desk full of papers, hats, wallets, mp3 players, cds, tissues, headphones, etc.
3. I'm kinda geeky. While this isn't really a masculine stereotype, normally when I say "geek" you think of "guy with huge glasses". I don't have the huge glasses, but I am a guy who is interested in the latest tech. I just found out the joys of blogging and participating in Yahoo Answers. I have my own laptop and a Zune, which I make sure is automatically updated everynight with the latest podcasts from Zaproot, NBC, Cnet's Loaded, Rocketboom, Ted Talks, and more. Of the 80GBs, my Zune is loaded with 10-20 gigs of podcasts (depending on the day updated) and 10 gigs of video (from various sources...including some DVDs we have that I ripped, like Sicko and the Incredibles). I also read my daily RSS feeds on Google Reader, and am looking for more blogs that interest me.
4. My clothes are just that. Clothes. While I do try to look nice in the morning, the rest of the day I can't be bothered with how my shirt or pants look like...most of the time, see my feminine side.
5. I love games. Specifically computer games, although those will be listed later.
6. I am reserved. If I talk about myself I quickly regret it later, I prefer to let my emotions stay inside of me and then vent them out later to G-d. If I had to choose between telling a guy or a girl about what I'm feeling, I would choose the girl...and then promptly regret I didn't get out of this situation sooner.
7. I really don't like gossip, and (probably because I'm concentrating so much on studying right now) am avoiding any emotional discussion whatsoever.

Feminine:

1. I am told by my brother that sometimes I type like a girl, and was once (1-2 years ago) referred to as a "she". Ah well.
2. I love running. I didn't know whether I should include this under "workout", but I figured since most of the runners I see on the track are ladies, it must be a more feminine sport.
3. I am probably more emotional than most guys, though I see more and more "outwardly expressive" guys as of late. Even though I don't like to express my emotions, you won't catch me dead complaining to someone about the way I feel, I do struggle with some of the baggage.
4. I can relate. I find that most of the girls I try to become "just friends" with usually tell me their lifestory sooner rather than later. Sometimes it's the same with guys, but guys usually rather tell their stuff to girls. I like helping people out, to be a listening ear (despite point 7 above).
5. I am concerned about my body shape. I check myself in the mirror every morning before I shower and weigh myself (including fat percentage and water percentage) once a month. I am proud that I lost around 45 pounds over the years (from 200lbs to 165, and now that I started running every other day I lost 10 more pounds to 155lbs) and am constantly comparing myself to how other guys look like around me.
6. I really don't like to watch sports, I think it's a waste of time. I would much rather play them if I had to.
7. I enjoy reading and listening to songs.
8. I enjoy quiet times by the riverside, or I used to until it started snowing today...they it's supposed to be 60F on Friday so I will try going then.

If anyone who is reading this has anythoughts or would like to comment and add their own stereotypes, go right ahead!

G-d bless,
sc

I'm in class right now

Testing out the email function of blogger, I wonder if gmail will add anything to the end of my post...

 

Anyways, the proff is going around the class making sure our midterms are ready for friday. Good thing too, I neglected to add 1/2 of the project! Ofcourse, while I'm waiting for my turn, I'm browsing some flickr photos/slideshows to pass the time. That, and reading up on some of my favorite blogs (like Feljegyzesek Eszak-Irorszagrol). I must say, I never knew flickr could be so interesting when you're too embarrassed to look at your daily geeky sites, like spore.com, sporeum.com, xspore.com, freewaregenius.com, and so on.

 

I did manage to write that annotated bibliography by the way, Took me a couple hours, mostly due to the internet's cursed distractions, but it turned out pretty good for a 2am paper!

So it finally all paid off...

I've been studying for the Structure and Function exam for at least two weeks now, and I got the B, an 86%. Or 69/80 for those curious, with each question worth 1.6 points.

To be honest I am a little disappointed, but not by much. On my last exam I got a 74/80 (an A), but I've been studying 8 hours a day for a whole week for that exam, and dedicated 2 days for review. For this exam I just reviewed the day before, that is one day. So even though I studied for a whole 1.5 weeks, the review killed it. That, and my overconfidence. I was slacking off on purpose, thinking that even if I get a C on this exam my average would be a comfortable B. Which is true...but I set myself on an A so hard that now I'm just crushed.

Ah well, at least I'm not alone in my studying:


He's probably going to get an A on his geography test.

I know, I know

I'm starting this baby back up again. :P

Only this time, there will be no long posts. I don't have the time for such things anymore, whatwith Nursing studies and all. In fact...I should be getting back to biology right now.

But instead I'm browsin'. And found this neat website (a couple months ago):
http://www.freewaregenius.com/

To all you free-software lovers out there.

What's been up?

Hey journal readers,

I haven't been able to post for a long, long while now. In fact, I started a Fitness Blog for myself just a couple weeks (months?) ago, and haven't been able to do anything on it either. Why? Well, it's finals week! Yay!

I am about 1/2 way done with my research paper (due tomorrow at 10:15am sharp) and about 1/2 way done with studying for ochem and micro. It really is a pain, but you gotta do what you gotta do...

Anyway, this is just a very quick update for now, before I get too sidetracked with blogging and invest my new found energy in that rather than using my whole body to write one more page for the paper. So I hope to see you guys soon!

sc

What's up?

So I've been studying my nose off for the exam tomorrow and I still have about 6 pages to go, but it'll be alright. I hope. Anyway, I thought I would post a cute video I found on http://www.godtube.com, I'm sure at least some of you have seen it already (had 4 million views), but it never hurts to watch again. :)



Enjoy! I will try to post some more, but I really need to get back to these last pages of Biology...

Oh fine, one more video. :P



Now ya'll be up-to-date on the most popular Christian videos on the net. ;)

G-d bless,
sc

Just a little tired right now...

So today was a pretty amazing day, actually. I went to our local church in the morning, in the early morning...I volunteered for the Nursery a couple weeks back. Those toddlers are just so amazing! They really do seem to have unconditional love, a certain acceptance and joy that is rare to find these days (especially at foru.ms it seems). There were to girls and two boys there today, one of the boys dad was a volunteer too so he was with daddy. The other 3 were more quiet than usual, it seemed like the whole church was just dead-gone tired today, but they were energetic nevertheless! Our first stop: The Slide. The Slide is a wonderful thing; it let's us climb up and down the slanted slope, the walls, the doors, the platforms. There's even a basement of sorts! Then there's The Ball(s); these are the round little things, they can be big and blue, or just small and yellow; they even make noise! And The House, who can forget The House?! From climbing out the windows and doing flips, to playing pick-a-boo and hide-and-seek. It's the most natural thing in the world. There are even Babies to accompany us for the 10 minutes we're interested in them! Snack Time is the most favorite time of the day, besides Story Time and the pictures that naturally come along with it.
Honestly, sometimes I think that toddlers see the world as one big playground. From the nametag/lanyard hanging around my neck, to the graham crackers that are at snack time. Even the people who just finished their youth group lessons! The world has a lot to learn from these little people. They love everyone, everything, and naturally cling to their mommy and daddy.
Mommy and Daddy....Mommy and Daddy....I wonder if we can use that analogy for the Trinity? With the Holy Spirit being Mommy, the Father being Daddy, and Jesus being the Son. But I'm getting sidetracked.
After the Nursery I was off to church for yet another sermon by the pastor, but this one was different. Actually, I forgot what the sermon was about, but I do know that it was related to last weeks. And last weeks was profound. It was about kindness, about our roles as Christians. He started by saying that there are churches where we feel that we aren't welcome. He heard of people telling him how that other church is fine and has great music, but that church is not really "kind". And then he pulled a shocker. He heard the same thing about our church. Our church! That just shocked me. Well, no it didn't. I was more like "so I'm not the only one!". But it was still a little shocking nevertheless, imagine your pastor saying that your church was talked about in a negative way. But I experienced that too. In youth group the teens were welcoming, but that was it. Once they found out my introvertedness, there weren't many interests, except for a couple...which then I messed up. But they don't understand! They don't understand what I'm feeling inside, how I'm feeling it, and what I do to keep it inside. They don't understand...ya'll prolly don't understand...
After the sermon my brother had a group practice with his band (it was pretty good in my opinion, except their drummer spot had to be filled in by the pianoist. So no keyboard or piano today, which was a bummer) and I went to kinda just drive around for 30 minutes. Found another shortcut to my uni from my church, and even a little park on the way back. Then when I arrived again at our church to wait about an hour till my brother was done, I got to read some bulletins and announcements at the front desk. They were nothing unusual, just the usual announcements from the groups. And then I found a book, a book about evidence for Christianity. I think this was the only book that I read so far that had to be the most comprehensible and the most matter-of-factual. Christianity: the faith that makes sense by Dennis McCallum. Yes, I took a picture of the cover with my cell phone to remember the title for later. I only read the last part, about basically the problem of evil. What was most striking to me was the fact that the author actually went through Christianity's past atrocities and...said that that was evil. I never heard anyone, author wise, do that! There were always some excuse to make sure that the Crusades were still righteous, or just quickly dismiss them with a "they weren't true Christians". But this guy, he went ahead and went through the facts. How the Christian church didn't bother teaching the laymen to read for a reason. How the Protestant Reformation was not all holy, how they continued the persecution that the Catholic church started. I recommend it.
After that little part of the day we went home, at home-made pizza and blueberry muffins, and then went to do our homework. For me, doing Chemistry homework was a big relief...there were 20 or so waiting homeworks online just for Chemistry, all due today, and getting them done was a huge burden taken off my shoulder.
Of course, now I have to go and finish The Groundwork to Metaphysics by Immanuel Kant...so I better go now, and I apologize for the rushed and childish sounding of the post. It will probably be like this for a while yet, until I sort the confusion out inside my head. I will keep on writing though. Writing for G-d.

G-d bless you all,
sc

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A video I found

I thought I would share this with you guys, it's a video about the song "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns. It is acted out by a youth group with just their hands. And while I found the clapping and cheering a bit annoying in the background, I did really like the video. :)



It touched me, somehow I felt it express my longing and wanting to understand that whole scenario that G-d did just for us.

G-d bless,
sc

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Here I am...again

So, even though I said I would start this back up in March, it's September already, and I posted nothing. Sorry bout that, I should be posting more often now. :)

What have I been up to you ask? Just the usual stuff. Y'know...college, my first car, my first courses, and so on. Nothing too terribly exciting.

Aww...who am I kiddin?! Of course I'm thrilled! College has been the most amazing thing anyone could ever ask for, it beats high school by a mile! So far I'm looking into majoring in pre-Nursing, hopefully that is the way G-d want's me to go. Speaking of G-d, I think I'll write about Him for a bit. You see, I haven't been praying or studying for a while, and as a result have been terribly away from Him. I'm sure most of you know about that feeling. Of being lonely, yet people tell you that He's there. But you're lonely, so that would imply that you can't feel Him...which you don't! How hard could it be to feel and know the Creator of you, me, the universe? How hard it could it be to talk to Him like friend to friend, son to father? To lean on Him when temptation and stress start bulging in on your life? How hard it could it be for the Creator of the universe to let Himself be known? To a college student! I mean, this is the age where we are searching for all kinds of truths! The truth of caring, nursing, rationalizing, the way the world works, is there a god? How hard is it to show just a itsy-bitsy teeny tiny itty bitty sign? It honestly can't be THAT hard. For the L-rd of the Universe? Come on...But who am I kidding...do I really want to know the most powerful being in all of life? If so, why? Why should I? To make my life better? The Bible says to not be selfish. Honestly, if I would truly want to answer the question, I would have to say that I want to know Him so I can rest. I know I only had a couple years of life, and according to statistics will have another 50-80 years left, but I am so tired. Tired of searching, of waiting, of wanting to know. Of all the responsibilities, of the false promises. Promises like, if you just go to your quiet place you will be alright. I do that. And I'm not alright after the 2 hours I'm there. During the 2 hours I'm just fine, but afterwards I'm back. Man it's hard...

I don't wanna grow up...I'm a Toys'R'Us kid.

I wonder how many other people feel this way. Not just of the tiredness of life and responsibilities, but of searching for G-d. If you are, could ya comment and let me know? It sounds terribly selfish, but sometimes it's good to know that I'm not alone. Of course, if you feel this way, you probably just want to be left alone. Like me. So many people, so many things, so fast. I diet and workout to change my body. But that's not the real reason. Ok, I diet to keep myself healthy, but then I workout to get that good feeling...and especially to be alone. In the gym everyone concentrates on their workouts, not on each other. So I workout, and I love working out alone. Don't get me wrong, I like working out with friends too, but nothing beats working out solo. Just me and the machines and dumbells.

I have so much to tell and so little time. It's 10pm already, and I got Biology at 7:45am tomorrow. Better go to sleep, especially if I don't want to fall asleep during my breaks. I need to study for that exam.

Thank you for reading this and I apologize for my tone. But this is my journal, so to speak, one of these days it will actually sound like one. :)

G-d bless,
sc

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I'm back!

Hello everyone,

First off: I decided to restart my blog! I think that it will help a lot in my time alone with God. And, if not with God, then at least I can complain to someone...even if noone reads this. :P That said, I think it would be best if I start off with what happened so far and without all that emotional stuff I will get into later.

On Christian Forums:

On this fine website I became a mod during the summer. This 183,535 member website is quite busy and as desperately looking for new mods. The requirements and application page is available to anyone on the bottom of any CF page "Be a mod" is the title. I am not allowed to talk about any inside stuff, like reports, etc. but will tell you all about something. I've created a Prayer Team. This team's basic function, so far, is to pray for anyone who submits a prayer request. My plans are, however, to make something like this:


So there is the Prayer Team and then it is divided into 5 subgroups. Each subgroup has a different mission, but it's up to the leaders to decide whether they would like to divide the subgroups further up into smaller groups or just let it be. The mission statements for each subgroup is stated under the graph. I really hope that we can get this new structure off the ground soon, it's been waiting for a couple weeks, but it all really depends on how fast Erwin makes the private forums for the Team. Speaking of which, he made a fellow mod of CF the head of the Team, so we decided to cohead it. Since I already have a Team with members in place. 40 some members to be exact. My hope? My biggest hope is that this is God's will. That I'm not just doing it for me, but for God's glory. I also hope that with the Team we can help CF's mission of "Uniting All Christians As One Body".

That's one new thing. The other is that I'm planning to start an Accountability Group on CF. It would look something like this:


Again, the Accountability Group will be split into 2 different groups, and then that split into 3 different groups. The purpose? To help people grow in faith and to help CF's mission statement to go along. Because of the responses I received from the other mods, supers, and admins, I think that the Omega Team, a team of pastors on CF, should head this. They know how to handle people, how to help them grow, how to direct such an Accountability Group, and how to organize such a group. Again, I hope this is God's will.

In real life:

I'm going to college next year! Not just college, but Taize and a missions trip to the Dominican Republic as well! Or so I thought...God moved to prevent these and other trips abroad. How? Well...my mom took the Citizenship test in the US to become a citizen. She passed and with her all her sons and daughters. So now I'm a citizen. However, as a consequence to this, our Hungarian passports are now unusable. The simple reason is that once we get out of the country, we (I) will have to do the whole test over, complete with waiting a few months to wait for the new passport to arrive. Currently it is set to arrive, at the earliest, at the exact date that I would come back from the missions trip. So all my out of the country plans are gone. Taize has been canceled simply because my father said that the experience at this French monastery will overwhelm me and thus make me unprepared for college. And I listened.

Furthermore, I am filling out scholarship applications from our school, all 30 of them, and submitting them by April 12th. So far I have around 20 done, counting those where I need my class rank and freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior GPAs. All of which I need to get from my Guidance Counselor. It'll be fun! ;)

That's it for now! I promised not to get into any emotional stuff, so I won't talk about God or my life. Ya'll are up to date!

May God watch over us all and keep us in His love and mercy,
sc

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