The Post

My Goodness it's been a long time since my last blog! I'd love to talk about what happened since...*goes to check* August 8, 2006!...but then I saw that I promised a post, which I even drafted:

She replied to my PM sooner than I thought...so here is the post that got me going today (names and sn's removed):

Hi [user], I'm not sure if I can help, but I believe I know what your friend is going through because I went through quite the same thing.

For some reason, unknown to me, I am somewhat of a leader at my school (I promise I’m not trying to sound conceited). I’ve always felt that I had to be a perfect Christian so that others around me would believe that Christianity was indeed the true religion, and that nothing on the negative end of the spectrum ever happened to a Christian. But for years I hated feeling like I was living a lie – telling people about Christ when there was so much distance between my head and my heart over the same issue. I believed that doubting God made me a terrible person.

Honestly, I have heard every theological, spiritual, emotional, intellectual and Biblical reason for why He loves me and you'd think I'd get the picture. But sadly it's not always about what's logical - we want to be able to feel the truth and know that He's with us. You said your friend was baptised 2 years ago. Baptism is usually a time when you go through a 'spiritual high'. You feel invincible and you know with every fibre of your being that God is real. But that high doesn't last forever and I'm sure you've heard people talk about the high and low points that are involved in Christianity.

Last year I was actually here on CF when somebody asked some questions about 'holes' they had found in Christianity. I was at that low point where I couldn't feel God. When I realised that I couldn't answer those questions I searched my Bible and asked pastors, ministers and youth leaders the same questions but none could answer me properly. It was then that I went through a bit of a crisis of faith where I decided that Christianity was, in fact, a giant lie. For me, this was a double hit – all I’ve ever known is how to be a Christian, and so in the same instant I lost my faith and my identity. Seriously, I was a mess. I couldn't talk to anyone at school about it for the reason that I was a 'leader'. When the salvation of your friends rests on your shoulders, you're none too keen to talk to them about the doubts in your mind. I hate the unspoken rule that leaders have to be perfect - it can often make life very difficult. Even at the moment at school I am slowly but surely introducing the idea that leaders are human too - they have fears and they have doubts.

I am a little worried that you say you want him to stay with his faith because he greatly influenced others. It doesn't matter how influential your friend is - he's confused about what he's meant to believe. He doesn't want people to follow his example as a Christian - he just needs friends who are willing to talk to him and accept him as he is.

The best thing you can do is continue to be there for him. Don't make him feel guilty about having doubts - doubt, in essence, is our faith searching for for answers and isn't a terrible thing. You don't need to be the 'all-knowing Christian' for him, just his friend.

Pray for him, hang out with him and talk to him. Let God do the rest.

I'lb praying for you and your friend [user].

Shalom,
[user]

This part struck me the most, even today (a couple months after that post was written):

Even at the moment at school I am slowly but surely introducing the idea that leaders are human too - they have fears and they have doubts.

How true is that! You might consider me as a "silent" leader in my school, slowly but steadily learning just what it means to lead even when you are introverted. The thing is, it's hard...but saying that it's hard does not get me anywhere, as I learned over the past couple months I've been away from my blog. Hard is just another word for challenging. Leaders are human too, they are not perfect, neither morally, spiritually, economically, socially, politically, or any other 'ly' you can think of. Think about that for moment, how different are leaders from regular people, besides them having a little more influence. In a way, all of us are leaders. A fact I learned a while ago: a typical introvert effects 2000 people over his or her lifetime. Now that is a lot of people!

That will be it for now, I think the quote above speaks for itself pretty much. It's just food for thought. :)

May you all be forever blessed in Him,
sc
Ps. Yes, the quote/post is posted here by permission from the author.